Top things not to buy your wife/girlfriend

[racer2c]

Do not buy her spark plugs for Christmas and do not, repeat do not wrap them individually. :gomer:

Care to add?

[fourrunner]

NEVER ... REPEAT NEVER .... Buy your mother a "Gift Card" for Christmas ! :eek:

[EDwardo]

On reflection, I think my divorce cost me less than Christmas for my ex.

;)

[rabbit]

In an advice column in the paper the other day, there was a letter from a man who wanted his ex-girlfriend to return a birthday gift that he had given her just before she broke up with him.





It was an ear-and-nose hair trimmer -- a really nice one.

[Rob]

A mustache trimmer

A gift assortment of cleaning supplies, even if you put a pretty bow on it

A girdle

A membership to a lesbian pr0n site (unless she's really into that)

A ticket to an IRL race

A gift certificate to the Dollar Tree

Diet food if she hasn't been, isn't, or isn't planning on being on a diet

A one-way plane ticket to Baghdad

The largest bottle of Summer's Eve you can possibly find

A CD of nothing but belches and farts

Firearms (especially if you've already given her at least one of the other gifts listed in this thread)

[Sean O'Gorman]

I have a feeling that Stu will obtain some first-hand knowledge that will allow him to contribute to this thread sometime in the next 24 hours. :laugh:

[indyfan31]

Anything item of clothing labeled "Large". :eek:

[Methanolandbrats]

Gold plated hose clamp earrings. She never wore em. They were petite too, the small worm clamps for fuel injection hose. I was hurt. :(

[oddlycalm]

Live poultry. I gave wife #1 a pair of Mottled Houdan chickens (as pictured below) a gift singularly unappreciated. The spray of topknot feathers hides their face except for the beak, which looks like some kind of alien genitalia. How could she not love them...? :confused: I had previously given a neighbor a Bourbon Red tom turkey for his birthday and he thought it was an outstanding gift.

http://www.feathersite.com/Poultry/CGD/Houdan/MottHoudFlock.JPEG

So, it fell to me to care for the Houdans. They turned out the have great personalities as well as looking cool. One toured the perimeter of our 5 acre north pasture twice daily, then perched on the door of the coup and waited for me to put her away every night. The other developed a relationship with my shop cat, and the two became inseparable.

oc

[Ankf00]

^^^ I take it wife #1 wasn't from College Station :D

[oddlycalm]

^^^ I take it wife #1 wasn't from College Station :D Good guess. Before arriving here the farthest West she'd been was Worcester, MA. Ranch and farm life caused a bit of stress....

oc

[Anteater]

My husband gave me nothing but towel bars for Christmas one year. They were attractive towel bars, but I wanted to beat him over the head with them just the same. :flame:

[Gnam]

NEVER ... REPEAT NEVER .... Buy your mother a "Gift Card" for Christmas ! :eek:
I dunno. It's pretty hard to beat the gift of shopping. Just make sure it's a store she likes.