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Napoleon
05-26-05, 09:18 AM
Who here thinks Danica Patrick will get "the call" by the IRL in order to create media buzz and a "property" that will help market the IRL?

Don Quixote
05-26-05, 09:22 AM
She gets the call, but still doesn't win. Too much racing and luck needed here.

KLang
05-26-05, 09:23 AM
I think those that bother to watch, not me BTW, will likely see Danica win it if at all possible. Judging by the threads over at danicaville (TF) she seems to be the ONLY story this year.

Michaelhatesfans
05-26-05, 10:11 AM
Is there a race this weekend? :confused:

lone_groover
05-26-05, 10:17 AM
I agree with Don Q, the fix is definitely in. They already gave her the Hornish-spec motor for pole, but she botched that up.

I say she pulls a Sharp on a re-start.

:thumdown:

Michaelhatesfans
05-26-05, 10:38 AM
I say her car sputters to a stop on her first stint. Later, the crew will be mystified as to what went wrong, and while draining the fuel tank they will wonder aloud who that chunky blonde was who was seen near Danica's car that morning.

Methanolandbrats
05-26-05, 10:45 AM
Yes she will get the call.
But she will find the wall.

tllips
05-26-05, 10:57 AM
What's the farthest she's ever driven in a race???

G.
05-26-05, 11:00 AM
Oh, c'mon! AGR will get the call. Rahole gets it next year.

rabbit
05-26-05, 11:11 AM
I don't see Danica f-ing up Scott-not-so-Sharp style. She gets the call, but whether she wins depends on a lot of other factors. Rahal's pit stops are consistently among the best, so rule that out as a factor. My prediction, with the extreme speed differential between the front and the back of the pack, she and the leaders catch traffic on lap 15 and she gets taken out in somebody else's crash.

lone_groover
05-26-05, 11:11 AM
Oh, c'mon! AGR will get the call. Rahole gets it next year.

They re-wrote the script. Danica is the "Hail Mary" play that's gonna save them.

Stupid, desperate gomaz.....


:cry:

JoeBob
05-26-05, 11:21 AM
"Pulling the pin" will be an option available to Danica. Whether she can hold onto it for 500 miles is a whole other ballgame. My prediction - she ends up in the wall. To be specific, she pushes into the wall on the exit of a corner, hitting it just hard enough to mess up her suspension.

They'll get 'er fixed, and she'll keep running for points - but she'll end up a few dozen laps behind the leader. The media write it off as "bad luck" and focus on how she ran some of the fastest laps in the race.

In other words, it will be pretty much identical to the Pole Day stories. If you believe all you read, it was "bad luck" that kept her off the pole.

racer2c
05-26-05, 11:24 AM
I don't think she'll be able to handle the many pitstops. Rahals crew may be tops, but she'll overshoot at least twice and stall it once.

Her mistakes will be one of over-exuberance. Just like her qual lap she bothced. She'll eitehr mess it up in the pits, on a restart, or tags the wall.

I think Hornish gets the win. They liked that 'merican winnin' last year. Plus, they want Danickle fans coming back year after year to watch her try.

Napoleon
05-26-05, 11:29 AM
Judging by the threads over at danicaville (TF) she seems to be the ONLY story this year.

I just checked in over there and 7 of 39 non "sticky" threads on the first page have her name in the thread title, and she is not on the pole and has (not yet) won the race.

I tend to agree with Joe Bob's assessment.

Oh and who the heck is voting no??? !!!!!

devilmaster
05-26-05, 11:37 AM
Oh and who the heck is voting no??? !!!!!

Probably mostly the gomers who have 'sleeper' accounts here.... Something we say will rile them, they'll use their account and then get it banned.....

Nappy - There is an option to allow everyone to see how everyone voted. Its a check box on the poll making page.... Do that next time so we can weed out the troublemakers ;)

Wheel-Nut
05-26-05, 11:41 AM
I say she backs it into the "safer" barrier and takes a trip to Methodist.

Warlock!
05-26-05, 11:44 AM
She gets the call, but she ain't quite good enuf to answer it.

G.
05-26-05, 11:52 AM
Oh and who the heck is voting no??? !!!!!Guilty. :o

Lone Groover gave me the smackdown, though. Thanks, lg. :)

Do a N+1 to the Yes column, a N-1 to the No column. (That's called math, Ank. :gomer: )

Methanolandbrats
05-26-05, 11:52 AM
I say she backs it into the "safer" barrier and takes a trip to Methodist. With this field he probably booked a whole floor of rooms in advance.

Sean O'Gorman
05-26-05, 11:53 AM
No call this year, because a rookie girl winning the race would draw quite a bit of criticism.

A friend of mine who isn't an open wheel fan said to me "if a rookie female driver wins the Indy 500 this year, they might as well just shut their doors." There would probably be alot of that attitude, I'd imagine.

Methanolandbrats
05-26-05, 12:00 PM
Danicle is their only hope to revive even a shred of attention from the National Press. Hornish? Nobody GAF. Gay Spidey? Done that. The rest of em? Nobody GAF. Of course is she wins, the attention will last about two days and then it will back to the death spiral.

Chief
05-26-05, 12:01 PM
ABSOLUTELY. But, she blew the pole....maybe she'll become the "Anika Sorenstam" of open wheel racing. We all know the history about the "Tiger Woods" of open wheel racing.

She's got a half way good chance if she dosen't wreck the entire field crapping her pants on the first lap, first turn. That's where my money's at UNLESS they allow a ragged start of 2x2's. It'll happen....

JT265
05-26-05, 12:09 PM
Does a bear crap in the woods?

Does a crapwagon look funny?

Does O'Gorman like GrandSham?

Do chickens have lips? :saywhat:






:D

Wheel-Nut
05-26-05, 12:14 PM
ABSOLUTELY. But, she blew the pole....maybe she'll become the "Anika Sorenstam" of open wheel racing. We all know the history about the "Tiger Woods" of open wheel racing.

She's got a half way good chance if she dosen't wreck the entire field crapping her pants on the first lap, first turn. That's where my money's at UNLESS they allow a ragged start of 2x2's. It'll happen....


Anika is a winner, many times over. Are you thinking of the tennis chick?

Methanolandbrats
05-26-05, 12:17 PM
Anika is a winner, many times over. Are you thinking of the tennis chick?http://i.cnn.net/si/pr/subs/swimsuit/images/04_akournikova_01.jpg

Racing Truth
05-26-05, 12:17 PM
No call this year, because a rookie girl winning the race would draw quite a bit of criticism.

A friend of mine who isn't an open wheel fan said to me "if a rookie female driver wins the Indy 500 this year, they might as well just shut their doors." There would probably be alot of that attitude, I'd imagine.

I see that too, but this might be Tony George's last shot to save the IRL, so my guess is he'll want it to happen.

That said, she might get a "boost," but a 500-mile race is far too unpredictable to truly fix.

Turn7
05-26-05, 12:21 PM
Maybe, I doubt it though. Those idiots aren't smart enough to be able to pull off a conspiracy. Look at the Tracy scandal, that is enough to make you realize that they can't even cheat right.

lone_groover
05-26-05, 12:24 PM
Apropos of the Tracy scandal; is there ANYTHING Barry Green won't lick?

:thumdown:

TKGAngel
05-26-05, 12:26 PM
Danicle is their only hope to revive even a shred of attention from the National Press. Hornish? Nobody GAF. Gay Spidey? Done that. The rest of em? Nobody GAF. Of course is she wins, the attention will last about two days and then it will back to the death spiral.

If I have to hear another word about Danica, I will scream. My local paper had a front page story about her, and how she's the greatest thing since sliced white bread. Then AOL had a story about her on the homepage when I signed on this morning. She's also being promoted on the radio spots for the 500. "All Danica, all the time" seems to be the theme for this year's 500 promotion.

She's a girl in a racecar. Its not like she discovered a cure for a debilitating disease or something. :shakehead

Chief
05-26-05, 12:57 PM
Anika is a winner, many times over. Are you thinking of the tennis chick?

You've GOT to be kidding me, right? You have no clue as to what I'm referring to, do you?

Dr. Corkski
05-26-05, 01:04 PM
If I have to hear another word about Danica, I will scream. My local paper had a front page story about her, and how she's the greatest thing since sliced white bread. Then AOL had a story about her on the homepage when I signed on this morning. She's also being promoted on the radio spots for the 500. "All Danica, all the time" seems to be the theme for this year's 500 promotion.

She's a girl in a racecar. Its not like she discovered a cure for a debilitating disease or something. :shakeheadA female driver getting far more attention than she deserves. No, never happens. :gomer:

The better question is to ask which turn's wall Danica ends up in.

Ozarkian
05-26-05, 01:08 PM
She was going to get the call until Letterman dissed Tony Monday night. Now she'll be lucky if the engine turns over ...

chicanor
05-26-05, 01:09 PM
what's the difference between danica and DNFisher?? sure danica looks a lot better and drives A LITTLE better... why didn't Sarah ever get the call? same concept, in that a woman winning an Indy 500 would create more buzz.

Don Quixote
05-26-05, 01:14 PM
what's the difference between danica and DNFisher?? sure danica looks a lot better and drives A LITTLE better... why didn't Sarah ever get the call? same concept, in that a woman winning an Indy 500 would create more buzz.
Maybe Fisher did get the call. Maybe she got it twice. :laugh:

pchall
05-26-05, 01:31 PM
She might have "The Call" but I doubt she has the racecraft to exploit it for the win. I see her getting a very mediocre "Top 10" unless she walls it early.

Napoleon
05-26-05, 01:32 PM
sure danica . . . drives A LITTLE better... why


She drives A LOT better. I think she is far from top notch, but Sarah flat out did not disserve to be in a car one step under the top level. I think it is entirely possible that Danica is at least better then the average driver in that field.

To put it anouther way Sarah could have had 30 HP on the field and still gotten her clock cleaned. Its like putting Pee Wee Herman on steroids and thinking he could vie with Barry Bonds for a home run title to think that giving Sarah the call would make any differance.

devilmaster
05-26-05, 01:34 PM
No call this year, because a rookie girl winning the race would draw quite a bit of criticism.

A friend of mine who isn't an open wheel fan said to me "if a rookie female driver wins the Indy 500 this year, they might as well just shut their doors." There would probably be alot of that attitude, I'd imagine.

But the other side of the coin for Tony is all the publicity, good or bad.

Remember the adage - 'it doesn't matter if they cheer you or boo you. If they stop doing both, then you're in trouble.'

devilmaster
05-26-05, 01:35 PM
She drives A LOT better. I think she is far from top notch, but Sarah flat out did not disserve to be in a car one step under the top level. I think it is entirely possible that Danica is at least better then the average driver in that field.

To put it anouther way Sarah could have had 30 HP on the field and still gotten her clock cleaned. Its like putting Pee Wee Herman on steroids and thinking he could vie with Barry Bonds for a home run title to think that giving Sarah the call would make any differance.

I really wish I could find that gimmick post I made a while back.... It talked about how Tony has always used the gimmick in women drivers in Indy cause he doesn't know how to run a race series.....

Wheel-Nut
05-26-05, 01:40 PM
You've GOT to be kidding me, right? You have no clue as to what I'm referring to, do you?


Guess not, what's the story Mr. Rather?

Racing Truth
05-26-05, 01:49 PM
She drives A LOT better. I think she is far from top notch, but Sarah flat out did not disserve to be in a car one step under the top level. I think it is entirely possible that Danica is at least better then the average driver in that field.

To put it anouther way Sarah could have had 30 HP on the field and still gotten her clock cleaned. Its like putting Pee Wee Herman on steroids and thinking he could vie with Barry Bonds for a home run title to think that giving Sarah the call would make any differance.

Yes. Is she over-hyped? Yes. But I'm convinced she has some talent anyhow. Comparing her to DNFisher is really not fair to Danica.

That said, more hp or not, she's not ready to win a 500-mile race yet.

Racing Truth
05-26-05, 01:50 PM
Guess not, what's the story Mr. Rather?

I'm pretty sure he's referring to Gweggy Way.

Sean O'Gorman
05-26-05, 02:07 PM
Its not like she discovered a cure for a debilitating disease or something. :shakehead

I dunno, Danica winning could go a long way towards research in curing women of their inability to drive. Last I checked that was pretty debilitating.

:runs:

Racewriter
05-26-05, 02:11 PM
Yes. Is she over-hyped? Yes. But I'm convinced she has some talent anyhow. Comparing her to DNFisher is really not fair to Danica.

That said, more hp or not, she's not ready to win a 500-mile race yet.

Considering that Danica has never won ANY car race, anywhere, of any distance, against anybody, I'd say you're right.

Of course, Sarah won races. As has Erin Crocker, Elizabeth Halpin, Jenny White...

But those ladies haven't shown their ass in FHM.

Methanolandbrats
05-26-05, 02:14 PM
But those ladies haven't shown their ass in FHM. There's a reason for that.

Wheel-Nut
05-26-05, 02:20 PM
I'm pretty sure he's referring to Gweggy Way.

Oh. I get it now. But Greg Ray did actually win. Danica has won ??

Racing Truth
05-26-05, 02:23 PM
Oh. I get it now. But Greg Ray did actually win. Danica has won ??

A whole lot of nothing I agree. But had Greg won much before '99?

I'm asking, maybe he had.

coolhand
05-26-05, 02:28 PM
If Danicle gets "the Call"

would it be offbase to call her a "call girl" from now on?

Wheel-Nut
05-26-05, 02:35 PM
A whole lot of nothing I agree. But had Greg won much before '99?

I'm asking, maybe he had.


1999 Indy Racing League Champion with 3 wins and 4 pole positions.
1998 qualified second for Indianapolis 500, and led 18 laps before retiring.
1998 entered nine Indy Racing League races with two second place finishes, 21st in final standings.
1997 Indy Racing League rookie, entered four races, 29th in final standings.
1996 raced in Firestone Indy Lights series, had second place finish at Milwaukee, 12th in final point standings.
1994 finished third in Player's/Toyota Atlantic series with three wins and six pole positions.
1993 won the SCCA National Championships in Formula Atlantic, and was awarded the Mark Donohue Award for outstanding performance, sportsmanship and competitiveness in SCCA road racing.

Chief
05-26-05, 03:07 PM
Guess not, what's the story Mr. Rather?

Well, here's a quote from today's ESPN/KC's Chris Whitlock:


"You can't get any bigger than Danica. She can make the Indy 500 what it was before IMS president Tony George ruined the race by pulling Indy out of the Champ Car series and starting his own fledging Indy Racing League 11 years ago. Danica can be as big as Tiger. She can do for open-wheel racing what Tiger did for golf. Really, she can make the month of May in my hometown more important than it's ever been."

Jack Arute coined GREG RAY the "Tiger Woods" of auto racing. Jack of course is what shills aspire to be: a GAPEING FTG *** muncher. And, of course GREG RAY had a history of blowing EVERY opportunity he had at Indy. Probably the greatest moment in GREG RAY's Indy career occurred in 2002 when pressure from MICHAEL ANDRETTI forced "Tiger" in the wall at Indy. This quote sums up GREG's life at Indy:


INDY 1999
Greg Ray's bid for his first Indy 500 victory ended on Lap 120 when,while leading, he collided with Mark Dismore in pit lane. Ray, who started second on the grid for the second consecutive year, led 32 of the first 120 laps.
GREG RAY - "I have no idea what happened".

Year Indy Qual Fin Reason
2004 Indianapolis 27 27 Accident
2003 Indianapolis 14 8 Running
2002 Indianapolis 31 33 Accident
2001 Indianapolis 2 17 Running
2000 Indianapolis 1 33 Accident
1999 Indianapolis 2 21 Accident - pits
1998 Indianapolis 2 18 Gearbox
1997 Indianapolis 30 25 Water Pump

http://WISHTV.static.worldnow.com/images/1893632_BG1.jpg
NOW, he's a talking head...a VICTIM of the VISION. Remember, INDY makes the drivers, right? Greg looks like he's got a bad rash....

So, if Greg is equal to Tiger than Danica must be Anika. Get it? SHE'S WALL BAIT IN ANY ANALOGY ANYWHERE.

Mike Kellner
05-26-05, 03:26 PM
Who does the babe in the white bikini drive for? I think I have a new favorite team. (Racecar drivers didn't look like that when I was young.) :laugh:

They can call her all day long. When it gets down to a restart on cold tires at about lap 170 and she's in the lead, she will get side by side into turn 1, and have a highlight reel moment. If she gets that far.

mk

JT265
05-26-05, 03:49 PM
Who does the babe in the white bikini drive for? I think I have a new favorite team. (Racecar drivers didn't look like that when I was young.) :laugh:
mk

Komrade Scuderia Team Lada, headquartered in Moscow. Surely you've heard their tag line.........


"Buy a Lada........................send a dissident to camp."



:laugh:

Racing Truth
05-26-05, 04:25 PM
I will say I'm amazed at all of this Danica hype. She has yet to win anything, and all of this attention?

H=ll, Jim Rome (whom I like, but knows nothing about motorsports) has interviewed her on radio and on his TV show tonight.

Easy everyone.

TKGAngel
05-26-05, 07:44 PM
I dunno, Danica winning could go a long way towards research in curing women of their inability to drive. Last I checked that was pretty debilitating.

:runs:

You'd better run. :rolleyes: Tell me this, why is it that guys 16-25 have higher auto insurance rates than ladies of a comprable age? Seems the insurance industry thinks that agression on the road is more dangerous than the woman putting on her mascara during rush hour.

Back on topic, I think the call could also be used if SeeBass/Junky are in the lead in the last 5-10 laps.

Bob_S.
05-26-05, 07:50 PM
No, she won't get The Call BUT there will be an awful lot of Pit Lane violations. :rolleyes:
Imagine that, Barry Green delivers St. Pete only to get screwed again with a yellow light. :rofl:

RTKar
05-26-05, 07:57 PM
She'll get the call but she'll have to stop and pee.

rabbit
05-26-05, 08:36 PM
Who does the babe in the white bikini drive for? I think I have a new favorite team. (Racecar drivers didn't look like that when I was young.) :laugh:

They can call her all day long. When it gets down to a restart on cold tires at about lap 170 and she's in the lead, she will get side by side into turn 1, and have a highlight reel moment. If she gets that far.

mk
http://msn.foxsports.com/id/2587672_7_2.jpg

http://www.offcamber.net/forums/showthread.php?t=5144

jcollins28
05-26-05, 09:13 PM
I think she crashes....

dando
05-26-05, 09:58 PM
maybe she'll become the "Anika Sorenstam" of open wheel racing.

Correct first name...perhaps Cornykova rings a bell? :)

-Kevin

coolhand
05-26-05, 10:01 PM
You'd better run. :rolleyes: Tell me this, why is it that guys 16-25 have higher auto insurance rates than ladies of a comprable age? Seems the insurance industry thinks that agression on the road is more dangerous than the woman putting on her mascara during rush hour.


that used to be true but its not anymore, about 3 years ago it changed and girls have higher rates now (teenage girls that is)

Peter Venkman
05-26-05, 10:09 PM
If she wins, she will have beaten the guys. Simple as that.

Methanolandbrats
05-26-05, 10:12 PM
If she wins, she will have beaten the guys. Simple as that. And Helio, she will have beaten him too :)

Jervis Tetch 1
05-27-05, 12:48 AM
She'll get the call, but she'll screw it up somehow.

devilmaster
05-27-05, 09:44 PM
I really wish I could find that gimmick post I made a while back.... It talked about how Tony has always used the gimmick in women drivers in Indy cause he doesn't know how to run a race series.....

Devilmaster loves quoting himself.... almost as much as he likes talking in the third person ;)

Anyways, I found the gimmick post I was talking about.... It was a post i made at Crapwagon a while back about the recovering quadropeligic who was doing a ips test....


Lets all say it together now......

GIMMICK.

For Tony, he'll ask schmidt to hire this guy on the spot. Why? Because thats how Tony operates. He doesn't have a clue on how to market drivers. So he uses gimmicks.

1st clue. For his fledgling IRL, he goes looking for talent. One of the first drivers he hires (and IIRC, I think it was the first driver he hired) to run in the IRL, a past champion? long time consistent top5 driver? Nope. Lyn St. James. Lyn ran at indy until the emergence of the next female driver.

GIMMICK.

2nd clue. Lyn is cast aside for the next female name Tony needs for a gimmick. Sarah. the IRL's poster child for no other reason except they needed to put someone on the poster. The IRL's favorite driver year after year who can't seem to easily land a ride unless Tony pays for it.

GIMMICK.

3rd clue. To jumpstart his IPS series, Tony gets a recognized actor who has done some racing into his series. Forget that this driver admitted he was a little underqualified for the series, and subsequently crashed in a practice and nearly killed himself.

GIMMICK.

Now the reports that Zanardi has been asked to run Indy. Zanardi has made good press in the past year, and IMS wants to jump on the bandwagon as johnny come latelys and get some press off of it.

GIMMICK.

And now this. I don't have anything against this guy trying to race after recovering. But what disturbs me, is the qualifications that crash.net quoted as this driver's background. "NASCAR testing, land speed record, and completion of driving schools" I'm sorry, but that doesn't scream qualified to me. If it were that easy, i'll go to skip barber next week, and squeeze my fat a$$ into an IPS car this season also.

GIMMICK.
GIMMICK.
GIMMICK.

Well, after 8 years, the IMS and IRL marketing team still think the same way. Open the gates and we'll be full. After all, its 'Indy'.

Steve

racer2c
05-27-05, 11:25 PM
prophecy: Danicle is lifted from the car with 50 laps to go due to dehydration and cramping. marco andretti is conveniently waiting in the Rahal pits suited up with helmet in hand. In the car he goes, around the track to a IndEEEE 5hundret victory!

Brickman
05-28-05, 01:00 AM
I don't think she gets the call, although it would be a "Gomer" wet dream if she did win. Just as it would have been for CCWS fans if she won in Champ Car. So how could anyone complain. I do think it's true that she's far better than Sarah, I heard her say the telemetry from her "wiggle" on qualifying that she went to full steering right lock twice, which would be impressive if true.

fourrunner
05-28-05, 10:23 AM
She'd better win ...

She has been on every major Network including CNN touting how Fabulous & "Hot" she is...

She has rendered virtually every "Male" in the race an "Also Ran" ... You'd think that it is the Danica 500 ... and the other drivers are just "Fillers" ... haven't seen one of them on a high profile show.

Put her in an AJ Foyt car, and lets see where she finishes!! ;)

RTKar
05-28-05, 10:32 AM
She'd better win ...

the Danica 500 ...

:rofl:

FTG
05-28-05, 11:06 AM
After seeing all the attention she's getting, and 2002, I don't see how anyone say she won't. Anyone want to bet that there won't be "debris on the track" if she starts to go a lap down.

EDwardo
05-28-05, 12:01 PM
After seeing all the attention she's getting, and 2002, I don't see how anyone say she won't. Anyone want to bet that there won't be "debris on the track" if she starts to go a lap down.

Exactly. A few well timed yellows will suffice to keep her on the lead lap, assuming no crashes or mechanical problems. I would also wager that anything short of disintegrated car will be reported as "off the track" rather than retired. Get her back in the race so to speak......

Racing Truth
05-28-05, 12:20 PM
If she wins, she will have beaten the guys. Simple as that.

Simple and to the point.

At any rate, if its obvious, that's one thing. Otherwise, even if it does happen, good luck proving it.

Mike Kellner
05-28-05, 12:27 PM
Just remember. The press almost always focusses on the wrong person each 500. I think either Hornish, or what's his name, his teammate are getting the call. Pimpske might leave for a real racing series with fans and prestege, and Antony al Sagamore will grant him a victory as a peace offering.

mk

The IRL: Breaking our backs to save the traditions of Indy.

fourrunner
05-28-05, 01:04 PM
This Danica Mania is catching on

Parents are Straightening their daughters hair and dying it black

Teaching them how to talk in a nasaly annoying whine

Having Radical Mastectemy's performend to eliminate the "Breast Prioblem"

and cutting their legs off at the knee to match Danica's height !

Most of them haven't Won anything, so that's the easy part! ;)

Racing Truth
05-28-05, 01:11 PM
OK, THIS, requires registration, (https://registration.mercurynews.com/reg/login.do?url=http://www.mercurynews.com%2Fmld%2Fmercurynews%2Fsports%2 F11758064.htm) is funny:
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Danica-mania at Indy, A to Z

BY REGGIE HAYES

Knight Ridder Newspapers


INDIANAPOLIS - (KRT) - Extensive research has revealed the top two storylines at this year's Indianapolis 500:

No. 1: Danica Patrick.

No. 2: What do other drivers think of Danica Patrick?

Danica-mania consumed Indy this May. ABC-TV promos for the race feature her, with the other drivers reduced to audience members of "American Idol." I understand the thinking. Indy 500 television ratings have slipped from 17 million viewers to 12 guys in a Speedway, Ind., bar, so the Indy 500 could use some history-making buzz.

"The series needs a boost like this," said Al Unser Sr., who, unlike Patrick, was never pictured in a race media guide leaning against a wall with a come-hither look. (As far as I know; I don't have the 1974 guide on me.)

Nevertheless, in the remote possibility that Patrick doesn't win the race, sportswriters and sportscasters will be scrambling to figure out how to spell and pronounce Sebastien Bourdais.

Speaking of spelling - how's that for an alliterative segue? - we can't let the race begin without our annual A to Z guide (Danica Patrick version):

A - A's. Three lower-case a's are needed to spell the last name of Tony Kanaan. Kanaan won the pole, which ranked as a nice little side note in the stories of how Danica Patrick qualified fourth.

B - Buddies. Buddy Lazier is in, but Buddy Rice is out. Rice is best known as a teammate of Danica Patrick at Rahal Letterman Racing, and for winning the race last year.

C - Chevy engine. This manufacturer is now in the minority at Indy, where most teams use either Toyota or Honda. Danica Patrick's car is powered by Honda. Well, that and David Letterman's money.

D - Danica Patrick. No relation to Dan Patrick, ESPN commentator, although they might use the same hair-care products.

E - Express written consent. What you'll need this from the Indy Racing League to tape and re-broadcast the Indy 500, soon to be known as "Danica Patrick's Sunday Drive."

F - Fernandez Racing. This team be the dark horse to steal this year's race, with Scott Sharp starting third, Kosuke Matsuura eighth and Adrian Fernandez 14th. If not for Sharp, Danica Patrick would be in the front row, receiving some much-needed publicity.

G - Gasping Ganassi. Once in a duel with Penske for dominance of Indy, Ganassi Racing failed to put a driver in the first four rows. On a positive note, the so-so performance by Ganassi drivers meant reporters could spend more time with Danica Patrick.

H - Helio Castroneves. The Brazilian driver could become only the ninth driver to win three Indy 500s. Castroneves will start in the middle of the second row, right next to obscure rookie Danica Patrick.

I - Indianapolis. The city will be renamed Danicanapolis if Danica Patrick wins the race.

J - Junqueira, Bruno. The Champ Car driver is the IRL outsider most likely to make a run at winning. If he gets in Danica Patrick's way, look for obscure rules violations to be assessed under the code name "Paul Tracy."

K - Kenny Brack. The lead guitarist of Kenny Brack and the Subwoofers returns to replace injured defending champ Rice 18 months after a horrifying accident. If Brack finishes in an historic tie with teammate Danica Patrick, we'll all go home happy.

L - Luyendyk Jr., Arie. The son of the two-time winner had the 33rd spot until A.J. Foyt called Felipe Giaffone and stole it away. The only consolation is that Luyendyk is spared the post-race question of what he thinks about Danica Patrick.

M - Miller, Reggie. The lovefest for the retiring Indiana Pacers guard continues as he waves the green flag to start the race. He'll also have a great view of Danica Patrick.

N - Newman/Haas Racing. This team used to have the celebrity factor covered with owner Paul Newman. But Ashley Judd will be on hand to cheer for hubby Dario Franchitti and Letterman will be composing Top 10 lists featuring Danica Patrick.

O - "Oh, No!" The expression (edited for television) likely to be uttered by IRL officials if Danica Patrick is passed at the finish line by Franchitti.

P - Pride. The wounded part of every male driver who finishes behind Danica Patrick.

Q - Queen. No, I'm not going to say Danica Patrick is the queen of Indy. But, her official biography lists Queen, the rock band, is one of her musical favorites. Everybody: "She will, she will, race you!"

R - Rookie of the Year. Tomas Enge, Jeff Bucknum and Ryan Briscoe have a good chance of winning this award if Danica Patrick leaves during the national anthem to pursue a NASCAR career.

S - Schnauzer. Danica Patrick owns a pet miniature schnauzer, named William Robert. If she brings her dog to the track, he would be the smallest thing in Gasoline Alley, except for Jimmy Kite.

T - Tense. The probable mood, putting it lightly, in the Penske garage if Danica Patrick beats former go-kart rival Sam Hornish Jr. to the finish line.

U - U-Turn. What U do every time U leave the straightaway at Indy, if U are driving in the race. Alas, U are not. Danica Patrick is.

V - Victory Lane. The second-most photographed locale, next to the Rahal Letterman garage, if Danica Patrick doesn't win the race.

W - Wheldon, Dan. Weldon's biography in the IRL guide says he "enjoys shopping for clothes." Sorry, but I cannot include a reference to Danica Patrick in this item without sounding sexist.

X - XM Radio. This new format should not be confused with Expletive Radio, which is what you'll hear if you tune in to one of A.J. Foyt's cars when it's lapped by Danica Patrick.

Y - Yellow flag. If the flag comes out with Danica Patrick in the lead and anything less than five laps remaining, extreme caution will be taken in order to keep anyone from getting hurt, especially the IRL marketing department.

Z - Zoo. The media crowd surrounding Danica Patrick looks like a zoo, but generally smells worse.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

:laugh:

JT265
05-28-05, 01:17 PM
She'd better win ...

You'd think that it is the Danica 500 ... "Fillers" ...



That's downright cruel 4. Casting aspersions on her by dropping hints as to her sexlife with suggestive pr0n titles just ain't right!! :cry:




:D

FCYTravis
05-28-05, 01:40 PM
Finally, a GREAT journalistic article on the 500! :D

theunions
05-28-05, 02:07 PM
This Danica Mania is catching on

Parents are Straightening their daughters hair and dying it black

Most of them haven't Won anything, so that's the easy part! ;)

I'm told (by a friend who went to the Stars races at New Castle last weekend) many female karters (including Julianna of all people) are doing just that... :rolleyes:

coolhand
05-28-05, 02:11 PM
ain't that article the truth :thumbup:

Michaelhatesfans
05-29-05, 01:52 AM
C'mon, Honda - give her the Suzuka Special. C'mon, you know you want to...

http://www.7extrememotorsports.com/formula1/photos/bar05_honda_27.jpg

coolhand
05-29-05, 04:10 AM
LMAO ^^^^ :thumbup:

TRANSAM
05-29-05, 08:28 AM
Even if she wins ,Danny Sullivan will still be the prettiest Indy 500 winner ever.

Mike Kellner
05-29-05, 12:43 PM
I just watched the ridiculous Danica fluff piece that ABC led the pre-race show with. I don't know if it was horrid direction, or the fact that she is not an actor, but she looked like a stiff reading lines. The script was bad as well.

When I got done laughing, it hit me. This is about the worst thing that could happen to a rookie. Not only is this a huge distraction while she is trying to work, but it is using up valuable energy and thinking time. The amount of pressure all this creates is huge, and the smart decision to bring home a top 5 finish will be turned into a failure, and may push her to do something stupid to live up to the hype.

They may be cooking the golden goose here, because the PR weasels are so eager for any good story. Perhaps it would have been better to wait until she started winning before treating her like the reincarnation of Wilbur Shaw.

mk

TLK
05-29-05, 12:56 PM
Danica's going to make me some money today... 5/2 odds at Bodog that she won't finish the race.

Racing Truth
05-30-05, 11:46 AM
Danica's going to make me some money today... 5/2 odds at Bodog that she won't finish the race.

Oops. :gomer:

Brickman
05-31-05, 04:16 AM
I just watched the ridiculous Danica fluff piece that ABC led the pre-race show with. I don't know if it was horrid direction, or the fact that she is not an actor, but she looked like a stiff reading lines. The script was bad as well.

When I got done laughing, it hit me. This is about the worst thing that could happen to a rookie. Not only is this a huge distraction while she is trying to work, but it is using up valuable energy and thinking time. The amount of pressure all this creates is huge, and the smart decision to bring home a top 5 finish will be turned into a failure, and may push her to do something stupid to live up to the hype.

They may be cooking the golden goose here, because the PR weasels are so eager for any good story. Perhaps it would have been better to wait until she started winning before treating her like the reincarnation of Wilbur Shaw.

mk

I agree they rolled the dice.

Dr. Corkski
05-31-05, 04:49 AM
Danica's going to make me some money today... 5/2 odds at Bodog that she won't finish the race.Don't worry, I am sure AR1 has a reporter gig for you. :gomer:

JT265
05-31-05, 07:38 AM
I'm told (by a friend who went to the Stars races at New Castle last weekend) many female karters (including Julianna of all people) are doing just that... :rolleyes:

Have they considered breast reduction as a career move too?

TLK
05-31-05, 10:31 AM
Oops. :gomer:

yep... tell me about it.

pchall
05-31-05, 11:35 AM
Correct first name...perhaps Cornykova rings a bell? :)

-Kevin

I think Nappy is reference to Annika Sørenstam coming when competing against men.

And the correct spelling for the tennis player is Whornikova.. ;) She's famous for getting more internet hits with even less talent than Britney Spears.

Methanolandbrats
05-31-05, 11:39 AM
Have they considered breast reduction as a career move too? That won't help as much as hooking up with an old bald guy.

JoeBob
05-31-05, 11:42 AM
My dad (who is a casual fan) called me yesterday asking if I'd seen the 500. His comment was, "What a fix that was! She couldn't start her car, she crashed out all those cars, then she broke the wings. In any race, if one of the things that happened to her happens, you're done. But after all that, there she was leading. The fix was in."

pfc_m_drake
05-31-05, 01:18 PM
Yeah, but somebody should have gotten together with their cousins at BAR about those fuel tank modifications...then they could have gone full rich at the end.

Brickman
05-31-05, 02:16 PM
My dad (who is a casual fan) called me yesterday asking if I'd seen the 500. His comment was, "What a fix that was! She couldn't start her car, she crashed out all those cars, then she broke the wings. In any race, if one of the things that happened to her happens, you're done. But after all that, there she was leading. The fix was in."

So what did you tell him? ;)