Don't let it slip away....

[WickerBill]

Today is Mother's Day, and I really, really miss my mom.

On February 17th, my mom passed away after an incredibly short, very painful battle with bone cancer. She was having some "pulled muscle" type of pain in her hip that didn't seem to go away, so she went to the doctor, who did a blood test, then a bone scan, and confirmed that she was riddled with cancer, from her ankles to her skull.

That was November 3rd, 2004.

On November 2nd, she voted in the general elections. At the end of November, she was taking Advil to deal with her pain. By Christmas, she was carrying around a morphine drip, but she came to my house to see my kids open presents. She walked upstairs and took a nap. By January 20th, she was bedridden and couldn't lift her head.

The day before she died, I went up to my parents' house in Muncie to see her. She was in astonishing pain, but she opened her eyes, held my hand, and talked to me, asked me how the kids were, told me that she was thankful for our prayers. She smiled at me, I leaned over and gave her a kiss, she even teased me about my beard scratching her face. Although I knew how sick she was, it just didn't seem like the kind of conversation you have with someone who only has 30 hours left.

Of course, as we found out with Railbird, not everyone gets even the short chance I got -- to say what needs to be said, to thank those so important to us for what they've done.

I implore every one of you who still has parents living -- regardless of your current relationship with them -- to give them a call. Tell them what you need to tell them. Send them new pictures of your kids or yourself. It could all be over tonight; if it were, what would you regret? If something popped into your head, go correct it while you can. Please.


If you are wanting to respond with condolences to me, please use that time to pick up the phone instead, or if your folks are no longer living, tell your kids about them. I don't care if you're Eminem and you wrote several songs about how much you hate your mother.... call her. Make peace.

It will mean a lot to you the first Mother's Day after she's gone.

WB

[fourrunner]

Sorry for your loss Wickerbill !

My Mom died in 1987 at 67 of Cancer which had been in remission for 10 years

We had our ups & downs over the years ... She was a demanding Woman but was very Classy in looks and the way she carried herself

We would have heated verbal battles about most anything BUT she always called later to ask if I wanted to go Shopping with her, as if nothing happened ... We were nut's !!

I actually look back on that with great humor ... She was more acid tongued than me, but funny too!

She was sick and hospitalized for over a month the final time ... We would have great fun talking and reminiscing while she was in the Hospital

She never had a discouraging word ... She once fell in the bathroom, and laid there on the floor until the nurses next round, because she didn't want to bother them, because she thought it was her fault because she was supposed to buzz them.

Every Nurse that took care of her in the Hospital was at her Funeral, some even switched there hours so they could attend ... that does not happen often

My Mom was cool, and I'm Glad we were having fun at the end!

Thanks for starting this thead Wickerbill! :thumbup:

[Paintergeek]

Funny you would post this, because it was exactly what I had in my mind when I posted 'happy mothers day' this morning. My mom and I dont talk too often, e-mail occasionally, and see eachother about once a year or so, usually revolving more around a visit with the kids. But I was thinking this morning, that one day, I wont HAVE to make that call, because she wont be there to call anymore. that why I posted that, but didnt spell it out. I also hug and kiss my kids every day before I leave for work, and every day before they go to bed, or when they leave toi grammas, or whatever. Basically, Its a weird way to look at things, But I have had alot of loss inmy life. Alot of friends taken too early in accidents. So every time they leave without me, or when I leave for work,......I think to myself..."What if"...........and make sure I get that kiss in. Oh, wifey too :)

Sorry for your painful loss WB and 4R.........My mom wasnt home when I called, I will disconnect and go do that now just to ake sure i dont miss the chance.

[Napoleon]

my mom's death (11 years ago) was 3 or 4 years forseeable, dads ('98) was about a year.

I can not imagine what may be "better" short or long.

Regardless, you have to appreciate what you have because you will not have it forever.

[Linda]

I understand completely WB I lost my Mom last year on July 3rd she did get to tell me she loved me and I told her I loved her and kissed her good bye. I would'nt let her tell be good bye I didn't want that to be.
This is a hard month for us her Birthday was the 5th and now Mothers Day and Mom and Dad would have been married 64 years this May 30th the day before last year is when she was taken to the hospital and was there until her death July 3rd.

You said it all WB don't let it slip away............

Linda

[racer2c]

Thank you WB. Your post was beautiful.

[Jervis Tetch 1]

Beautiful post. I'm just thankful I still my mother. She's 65 and still going well. Thank God.

[Lizzerd]

Very touchiing, WB. Thank you for sharing.

I'll likely be making the same visit in a couple years from now, considering my mom's condition (but I'm not gonna go into that now). I only hated her in my early teen years. You know... "Bobbys Mom let's him do it!", "I'm not Bobby's Mom!."

[WickerBill]

It's (roughly) the seventh anniversary of this post. Today I'm really struggling missing my mom. It's strange how emotions come and go.

My message to you is the same... take time for your mom today. You will end up appreciating it as much as she does.

[Rex Karz]

My mother passed away from cancer on Sept. 25, 1983. Hard to believe that was almost 29 years ago and at the time I was just a couple weeks short of my 34th birthday.

As the song goes, "You don't know what you've got until it's gone."

Happy Mother's Day, Mom, where ever you are.

[nissan gtp]

Well said WB. My Mom died many years ago (in her mid-40's of breast cancer). Just had a really nice talk with my step-mom. Call 'em while you can folks, and work Dad in as well. :thumbup:

[TravelGal]

I'm sitting here on the couch in TravelMom's apartment. I didn't see this thread when it was first posted so I was experiencing WB's loss for the first time. By paragraph three I was crying. By the end, well, tissues can be a gal's best friend.

My mom is 98 years and 2 months old. She lives in Tampa. I live in Los Angeles. I visit every 8 to 10 weeks. We speak almost every day. Every time I see her, I wonder if it will be the last. Every time I talk to her, I wonder the same thing. We are very close. TravelGuy and I have made her the center of our lives for the last 20 years. But soon, it will slip away. :cry:

[dando]

Thanks for the reminder, WB. :thumbup:

Seeing fourrunner's post as the second post in the thread underscores the Railbird mention. :(

-Kevin

[Elmo T]

Call 'em while you can folks, and work Dad in as well. :thumbup:

And all your family members. And friends.

Things can change so quickly.

March 2003 - spoke to my Dad on the phone just before I left for Disney. Told him we were pregnant with #2 (later to be known as Emmo).

Receive a phone call at 4:30PM from my sister a few days later - we were still in Disney. "Dad's not feeling well, maybe pneumonia - he's headed to doctor." She'd call back when she heard more.

Next phone call was 11:30PM and he was gone. Just like that.

I ponder which is better/worse. The sudden loss OR having the opportunity to say goodbyes.

The answer is none of the above. It is not waiting to say those goodbyes and trying to be the better son/father/brother/friend now.

[Don Quixote]

Spot on Elmo. Treat your family and friends like every time you see them might be the last.

I lost my mom in September 2010 after a long ordeal with broken hips. It still hurts and I think about her every day.