PDA

View Full Version : So sad



Anteater
03-09-04, 08:17 PM
My dear friend Diana is down here in So. Cal. for a visit, but it’s not a happy thing. She’s here to say goodbye to her 42-year-old brother, John (her only sibling). He is in the final stage of malignant melanoma, which spread to his brain. John was the archetypal blond, blue-eyed California surfer—traits that made him susceptible to this terrible disease.

What’s odd is that Diana and John lost their father exactly 5 years ago today. I will never forget how they rallied against their grief to deliver a very moving eulogy at the memorial service.

There are a couple of positive things in all this. John participated in some experimental treatments and trials; he lived quite a few months longer than do most patients with his diagnosis. Hopefully other patients will benefit from what the doctors learned. Also, everyone (including a wife and 3 young children) is in a good place spiritually and are ready to let go. And Diana was just down here in January; she enjoyed one last walk on the beach with her brother.

But it’s still so hard to understand! I have known these people for 34 years, and watched John grow from an adorable little boy to a handsome man.

I would like to remind you all to keep an eye on any odd-looking moles or marks on your skin, especially if you are fair-skinned and had a bad sunburn before age 18. Early detection is crucial for survivability of malignant melanoma. And be sure to wear sunblock and a hat when you are outdoors!

TravelGal
03-10-04, 02:26 PM
I so sorry to hear this. About 20 years ago I lost a friend to this terrible disease. He had a bald spot and in the middle was a red spot. I had only known him for about a year so I thought it was just a birth mark or something. MUCH too late, it was discovered to be cancer. He said NO ONE ever mentioned to him that he had this spot. From that day on, I have been very vocal when I see any dark spots on someone's skin. I'd rather they think I'm an inconsiderate a## than find myself standing by at their funeral. :(

oddlycalm
03-10-04, 06:00 PM
For most of the 126 diseases commonly referred to as 'cancer', early detection is indeed important. We just learned that a friend of ours has been given less than a month to live, may not last the week. Apparently he had symptoms and pain for years, but waited to go to a doctor until he was unable to stand or walk. He was diagnosed with advanced stage 4 lymphoma which would have offered an 80-90% cure rate if detected at stage 1 or 2. What do you say to them...?

oc

Robstar
03-10-04, 07:31 PM
So sorry to hear that anteater :(
I too had a good friend pass away from a melanoma a couple of years ago - he was 29... Surfed every day with no protection (not advised in this part of the world)

I hope your friends family remain in good spirits...

Anteater
03-13-04, 02:35 PM
Sorry to see that a few of us have experienced this same situation. Many people have an unfortunate tendency to stick their heads in the sand and stall on doctor visits, hoping the problem will go away. It's not fun to visit the doctor, and it's inconvenient to find the time to get away from work etc. for an examination. But as you know, it can mean the difference between life and death.

John passed away late Wednesday, surrounded by his loved ones. He would have been 43 years old yesterday. :(

Brickman
03-13-04, 02:50 PM
Way to young.

Prayers to his family and friends.


My mother is a three time cancer survivor. 1965, 1977 and at 83 she had major surgery again in December. She is undegoing Chemotherapy, difficult but easier than it was 26 years ago.

RTKar
03-13-04, 03:38 PM
Sorry to hear that Anteater. He was much to young, my age in fact....... My family is experiencing a situation as well, with surgery coming within a few weeks. Some day, and I pray it's soon, the disease can be eradicated.

Ankf00
03-13-04, 05:18 PM
the scariest part about cancer to me is the cells which are most likely going to morph into that, neoplastic cells, can exist undetected

then those neoplastic cells can be transported to another part of your body, and then form a cancer at sometime later

it's even happened with organ donations, cancer-free, all from the same body, then all 5 of the people got cancer in those organs a few years later


freaky.