nz_climber
09-30-03, 09:30 PM
Amazingly, due to pressure from feminists, Guinness have been forced to
publish a FEMALE version of the Guinness Book of Records.
Here are a few excerpts from the British edition:
CAR PARKING:
The smallest kerbside space successfully reversed into by a woman as one of 19.36m (63ft 2ins), equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs. Elisabeth Simpkins, driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova 'Swing' on 12th October 1993. She started the manoeuvre at 11.15am in Ropergate, Pontefract,
and successfully parked within three feet of the pavement 8 hours 14 minutes
later. There was slight damage to the bumpers and wings mirrors of her own and two adjoining cars, as well as a shop frontage and two lamp posts.
FILM CONFUSION:
The greatest length of time a woman has watched a film with her husband without asking a stupid plot-related question was achieved on the 28th of October 1990, when Mrs. Ethel Brunswick sat down with her husband to watch "The Ipcress File". She watched in silence for a breath-taking 2mins 40secs before asking "Is he a goodie or a baddie, him in glasses?". This broke her own record set in 1962 when she sat through 2mins 8secs of "633 Squadron" before asking "Is this a war film, is it?".
INCORRECT DRIVING:
The longest journey completed with the handbrake on was one of 504km (313 miles) from Stranraer to Holyhead by Dr. Julie Thorn (GB) at the wheel of a Saab 900 on the 2nd April 1987. Dr. Thorn smelled burning two miles into her
journey at Aird but pressed on to Holyhead with smoke billowing from her
rear wheels. This journey also holds the records for the longest completed journey with the choke fully out and the right indicator flashing.
:rofl:
publish a FEMALE version of the Guinness Book of Records.
Here are a few excerpts from the British edition:
CAR PARKING:
The smallest kerbside space successfully reversed into by a woman as one of 19.36m (63ft 2ins), equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs. Elisabeth Simpkins, driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova 'Swing' on 12th October 1993. She started the manoeuvre at 11.15am in Ropergate, Pontefract,
and successfully parked within three feet of the pavement 8 hours 14 minutes
later. There was slight damage to the bumpers and wings mirrors of her own and two adjoining cars, as well as a shop frontage and two lamp posts.
FILM CONFUSION:
The greatest length of time a woman has watched a film with her husband without asking a stupid plot-related question was achieved on the 28th of October 1990, when Mrs. Ethel Brunswick sat down with her husband to watch "The Ipcress File". She watched in silence for a breath-taking 2mins 40secs before asking "Is he a goodie or a baddie, him in glasses?". This broke her own record set in 1962 when she sat through 2mins 8secs of "633 Squadron" before asking "Is this a war film, is it?".
INCORRECT DRIVING:
The longest journey completed with the handbrake on was one of 504km (313 miles) from Stranraer to Holyhead by Dr. Julie Thorn (GB) at the wheel of a Saab 900 on the 2nd April 1987. Dr. Thorn smelled burning two miles into her
journey at Aird but pressed on to Holyhead with smoke billowing from her
rear wheels. This journey also holds the records for the longest completed journey with the choke fully out and the right indicator flashing.
:rofl: