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Elmo T
11-30-10, 04:02 PM
I know there was a thread on the best lyrics, but what about the worst?

Popped into mind today while listening to The Roadhouse on Sirius. On came Tom T. Hall's "I Love" with the gem:

"I love honest open smiles, kisses from a child, tomatoes on the vine, and onions"

:saywhat:

racer2c
11-30-10, 04:24 PM
Any song from Led Zeppelin. :)

*runs*

TrueBrit
11-30-10, 04:52 PM
Some of the stuff from the Beatles was utter dross...

Speaking of which, anything from Cold Play is automatically qualified as well...

EDwardo
11-30-10, 05:10 PM
Barry Manilow.

"Caught up in a world of up-hill climbing
The tears are in my mind and nothing is rhyming."

"I write the songs
that make the whole world sing
I write the songs
of love and special things
I write the songs
that make the young girls cry
I write the songs
I write the songs"

"I don't believe my eyes - what have I seen?
Looking like you walked out of a magazine.
Oh
everyone's stopped and starin' at the door.
Go on
you know you've got it"


Or any other song he ever wrote.

IlliniRacer
11-30-10, 05:12 PM
So many to choose from. I'll go with two current ones that make me rush to change the station -
Shinedown - Second Chance -
I just saw Haley's Comet, she waved
Said, "Why are you always running in place?"
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in the stratosphere
:confused::confused:

Fergie - don't know the title, don't want to
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket

People actually buy this crap???
And what about Fergie am I missing? She looks like a 60 yr old tranny

Enough ranting. Going to go listen to my man Cooley -


I went stumbling through the fog trying to find a reason for the things I told her
She woke up sunny side down and I was still thinking I was too proud to flip her over
Between the champagne h** j** and the kissing ass by everyone involved
Cocaine rich comes quick and that's why the small d***s have it all

So I'll meet you at the bottom if there really is one
They always told me when you hit it you'll know it
But I've been falling so long it's like gravity's gone and I'm just floating

Those little demons ain't the reasons for the bruises on your soul you've been neglecting
You'll never lose your mind as long as your heart always reminds you where you left it
And don't ever let them make you feel like saying what you want is unbecoming
If you were supposed to watch your mouth all the time I doubt your eyes would be above it

Between the champagne h** j** and the kissing ass by everyone involved
What used to be is gone and what ought to be ought not to be so hard.

That's how you write lyrics

extramundane
11-30-10, 06:20 PM
Any song from Led Zeppelin. :)

*runs*

No need to run- much of what Plant wrote (rather than stole) was awful.

But I see your Zep and raise you an "Eric Clapton solo career." And not just the lyrics--the whole career.

WickerBill
11-30-10, 06:41 PM
"She's like the wind...through my tree." - Patrick Swayze, She's Like The Wind


"And we were trying different things, we were smoking funny things" - Kid Rock, All Summer Long


"Plants and birds and rocks and things" - America, A Horse With No Name


"Guess that's why they call it 'window pane'" - Eminem, Love The Way You Lie


"If I was a sculptor... but then again, no" - Elton John, Your Song


"De do do do, de da da da, is all I want to say to you." - The Police, De do do do de da da da


"He could throw that speedball by you" - Bruce Springsteen, Glory Days


"I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier." - The Killers, All These Things I've Done



I could go on forever. I'm not even including "Rapper's Delight", for goodness sake.

Indy
11-30-10, 08:57 PM
But I see your Zep and raise you an "Eric Clapton solo career." And not just the lyrics--the whole career.

Became the most overrated musician on the planet. Bleh.

Mr. Vengeance
11-30-10, 09:05 PM
"Way down yonder on the Chattahoochee
It gets hotter than a hoochie-coochie"

Mr. Vengeance
11-30-10, 09:10 PM
And no crap lyrics thread is complete without a visit to MacArthur Park:


MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down...
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

Oh, no, indeed.

TKGAngel
11-30-10, 10:02 PM
Summer Girls, by LFO: "The great Larry Bird Jersey 33 / When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet / Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets"

G.
11-30-10, 10:35 PM
They are some of the best lyricists ever, but then there's this:

Kodach-roooo-ooo-oome
They give us those nice bright colors
They give us the greens of summers
Makes you think all the world's a sunny day, Oh yeah
I got a Niiiiii-kon camera
I love to take a photograph
So mama don't take my Kodachrome away

High Sided
11-30-10, 11:38 PM
ice ice baby

Cam
12-01-10, 12:17 AM
Became the most overrated musician on the planet. Bleh.

Just think. SRV took his seat on that helicopter. :cry:

nrc
12-01-10, 01:15 AM
Became the most overrated musician on the planet. Bleh.
You think? I was never a fan of most of his stuff but I quite like his blues covers. Overrated? Probably. Most overrated on the planet? Not while Bono is around.

chop456
12-01-10, 03:33 AM
^ I saw Clapton in Austin on one of his blues tours. The parts I stayed awake for were incredibly boring. This from someone that's seen 100+ blues shows.


"And we were trying different things, we were smoking funny things" - Kid Rock, All Summer Long
That's what I thought of as soon as I saw this thread. :laugh::thumdown:

I'll submit:

Every lyric ever "written" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. :yuck:

Napoleon
12-01-10, 06:12 AM
No need to run- much of what Plant wrote (rather than stole) was awful.

I remember reading/hearing that Jeff Beck's opinion of Page was that everything he did with LZ was a rip off of others earlier work.

Indy
12-01-10, 10:08 AM
Just think. SRV took his seat on that helicopter. :cry:

Yeah. That just makes me sick to think about. :(

Indy
12-01-10, 10:10 AM
You think? I was never a fan of most of his stuff but I quite like his blues covers. Overrated? Probably. Most overrated on the planet? Not while Bono is around.

All of their albums through Achtung Baby were just brilliant. The music truly transported your soul to a better place. Clapton, not so much.

racer2c
12-01-10, 10:29 AM
No one is more overrated than Bob Segar...but I don't think any one is even rating him any more. :)

nrc
12-01-10, 10:31 AM
All of their albums through Achtung Baby were just brilliant. The music truly transported your soul to a better place. Clapton, not so much.

I think I missed the transporter beam on that one.

Elmo T
12-01-10, 10:44 AM
Wow - so much Clapton hate. There were a few clunkers (Pilgrim :rolleyes:), but there was some good stuff too. He'd probably admit to being overrated and he would certainly put SRV well ahead on skills.

On topic - I think Dave Barry beat this one to death in a column somewhere, but I will add Neil Diamond's:

"I am," I said
To no one there
An no one heard at all
Not even the chair

TKGAngel
12-01-10, 10:50 AM
"I Am, I Said" doesn't bother me all that much, but "Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon" just creeps me the eff out. It's such a dirty perv song.

TrueBrit
12-01-10, 11:20 AM
John Meyer is well on his way with this piece of genius...

"Say what you're gonna say, say what you're gonna say, say what you're gonna say, say what you're gonna say"...

Man you just don't see writing that deep any more...:shakehead

Oh and WB, the "De do do do, de da da da" is the whole point of the song...you know, that all of it is bollocks and you might as well just say "De do do do, de da da da" because that's just as meaningful and heartfelt as what the folks he talks about "poets, priests and politicians" say when they speak...Not that I'm defending Stin', one of the most pretentious gits to ever strap on a musical instrument, but this was written before his ego outgrew his band and The Police were still writing decent stuff..

WickerBill
12-01-10, 12:37 PM
TrueBrit: I will concede that point to you, and replace that line with this:

"Honey got a booty like pow, pow, pow" - Usher, OMG


And honestly, the Killers aren't horrid, they're just typical pop-rock, but "I've got soul but I'm not a soldier" line is truly a different level of awful.

I've got bleach, but I'm not a bleacher
I've got butt, but I'm not a butter
I've got ham, but I'm not a hamster

TKGAngel
12-01-10, 12:45 PM
"Honey got a booty like pow, pow, pow" - Usher, OMG



Is that really better than "Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda" - Sir Mix-A-Lot, Baby Got Back

G.
12-01-10, 01:58 PM
Does anyone else think that this topic might need some boundaries?

There's a lot of crap lyrics, but the authors aren't really trying to be very deep (see: 99% of rap song/pop song words).

I like examples where someone like Alanis Morrisette asks if it's ironic.

No honey, it's not. It's just not.

Opposite Lock
12-01-10, 10:02 PM
Not sure what it says about my taste in music, but a number of the examples cited so far are among my favorite quirky lyrics:


"Plants and birds and rocks and things" - America, A Horse With No Name:thumbup:


MacArthur Park w00t!

But then again, I've always loved this line from Steely Dan's Kid Charlemagne:

"Is there gas in the car? Yes, there's gas in the car." :confused: :D


Laurie Anderson weighs in on some dubious lyricism in this PSA:
9cE6Pg2q3lI

Yankee Doodle. :laugh: