opinionated ow
05-12-08, 11:58 AM
So, there was a pom, a kiwi and an aussie in Speedway, Indiana.
The aussie says "Maaaaaaaate, I can kick those septics, the kiwi and the bloody whinging pom in the arse." Promptly he goes out and takes the provisional pole.
The kiwi then says "Bru, toime to keeck that bloody aussie orf his peirch and geet rird orv that Dunneecar cheeck." So he goes out and takes away the provisional pole as the aussie laughed; "He said Dunny-Car"
Finally the pommy gets up and says "Oh golly, it is now my turn. I must show those colonials how to do it. I'll put on my fancy shoes and drive the fastest of all." So he goes out, does a split leap and takes over the pole.
Suddenly out of the blue the aussie turns around and says "Oh struth old cobbers, i'm not up front. Can't let that whinging pommy sheila with the bad thongs thrash me. And that bloody sheep befriender is on my nose too." He then yelled to his team "Throw another Shrimp on the bloody barbie"as in a fit of tall poppy syndrome he withdrew his time and set another (faster) one.
The pommy then doing his big for the Empire withdraws his time too and takes back the pole. "That should teach those colonials and convicts who the Lord prefers. Us proper English people are quite clearly superior," he decreed.
Pissed off at being called a convict, the kiwi turns around and subsequently withdraws his time too. "Teem for us keewiz to dimonstraighte our soopirior ebullities and keeck titch those puhms a lissun." So he goes out and sets a time faster than anyone who competed before 1990.
And with that (in typical American tradition), a gunshot was heard and Hideki Mutoh fell over dead-shot by one of the Racer-shopped gomers in "attendance." A gomer clearly not aware that the second world war had ended. Immediately as the murder investigation began another gunshot rang out and this one acutally marked the end of Pole Day Qualifying.
oh and now for the punch line: A kiwi, a pommy and an aussie take the front row and the Indy Star declares it an invasion by the "funny white people," leading to a mass revolt by the Racer-shopped gomers who persuade their government to kindly request England, Australia and New Zealand to allow them to invade (as a result of their increasingly widespread etiquette classes).
(yeah I know the punchline is poor, but I had too much fun paying out aussies, kiwis, pommys and americans)
The aussie says "Maaaaaaaate, I can kick those septics, the kiwi and the bloody whinging pom in the arse." Promptly he goes out and takes the provisional pole.
The kiwi then says "Bru, toime to keeck that bloody aussie orf his peirch and geet rird orv that Dunneecar cheeck." So he goes out and takes away the provisional pole as the aussie laughed; "He said Dunny-Car"
Finally the pommy gets up and says "Oh golly, it is now my turn. I must show those colonials how to do it. I'll put on my fancy shoes and drive the fastest of all." So he goes out, does a split leap and takes over the pole.
Suddenly out of the blue the aussie turns around and says "Oh struth old cobbers, i'm not up front. Can't let that whinging pommy sheila with the bad thongs thrash me. And that bloody sheep befriender is on my nose too." He then yelled to his team "Throw another Shrimp on the bloody barbie"as in a fit of tall poppy syndrome he withdrew his time and set another (faster) one.
The pommy then doing his big for the Empire withdraws his time too and takes back the pole. "That should teach those colonials and convicts who the Lord prefers. Us proper English people are quite clearly superior," he decreed.
Pissed off at being called a convict, the kiwi turns around and subsequently withdraws his time too. "Teem for us keewiz to dimonstraighte our soopirior ebullities and keeck titch those puhms a lissun." So he goes out and sets a time faster than anyone who competed before 1990.
And with that (in typical American tradition), a gunshot was heard and Hideki Mutoh fell over dead-shot by one of the Racer-shopped gomers in "attendance." A gomer clearly not aware that the second world war had ended. Immediately as the murder investigation began another gunshot rang out and this one acutally marked the end of Pole Day Qualifying.
oh and now for the punch line: A kiwi, a pommy and an aussie take the front row and the Indy Star declares it an invasion by the "funny white people," leading to a mass revolt by the Racer-shopped gomers who persuade their government to kindly request England, Australia and New Zealand to allow them to invade (as a result of their increasingly widespread etiquette classes).
(yeah I know the punchline is poor, but I had too much fun paying out aussies, kiwis, pommys and americans)