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JohnHKart
07-15-07, 06:13 PM
At the moment, for me it's the overuse of the word quick. "Got a quick question for you". Utterly meaningless and wrong adjective. Questions are questions, period. It's hated because of my job in customer service and having to hear it all day. Ugh. I want to scream. It's as annoying as the "let me ask you a question" that you hear on talk radio, or "let me ask you this". I've had to actually tell somebody once, "Just ask the question please " after they kept repeating, "let me ask you a question." Over to you guys, I'm sure you have some others.

John

Sean Malone
07-15-07, 06:26 PM
"Basically." they say "basically" and then proceed to explain things in detail. I hear it on a daily basis at work.

Any verbal crutch bugs me. Corporate trend words bug me too. "Swim lanes" is one I heard the other day. Stoopid.

Methanolandbrats
07-15-07, 06:36 PM
At the moment, for me it's the overuse of the word quick. "Got a quick question for you". Utterly meaningless and wrong adjective. Questions are questions, period. It's hated because of my job in customer service and having to hear it all day. Ugh. I want to scream. It's as annoying as the "let me ask you a question" that you hear on talk radio, or "let me ask you this". I've had to actually tell somebody once, "Just ask the question please " after they kept repeating, "let me ask you a question." Over to you guys, I'm sure you have some others.

John Tyoical customer service attitude :eek: :runs away: ;)

WickerBill
07-15-07, 06:42 PM
I hate technical terms altered for use by salespeople / management:

ping - "Let me ping Jacobs on that"
offline - "We can take that conversation offline"
bandwidth - "Do you have the bandwidth for this project?"
multitask - "We're going to need you to multitask to get these 19 things done by Wednesday"
buffer - "Let's buffer that suggestion for another time"


Makes me think they believe their technical charges will somehow respect them more for using such terms, albeit incorrectly. They're wrong.

cameraman
07-15-07, 06:44 PM
"Foley Catheter"

but that is probably just me...

TravelGal
07-15-07, 08:12 PM
I hate technical terms altered for use by salespeople / management:

ping - "Let me ping Jacobs on that"
offline - "We can take that conversation offline"
bandwidth - "Do you have the bandwidth for this project?"
multitask - "We're going to need you to multitask to get these 19 things done by Wednesday"
buffer - "Let's buffer that suggestion for another time"


Makes me think they believe their technical charges will somehow respect them more for using such terms, albeit incorrectly. They're wrong.

Good GRIEF. (See other thread). Maybe you don't really want to re-integrate into these people.

My most hated phrase, "Well, anyway...." NEVER needed although I found myself saying or writing it from time to time.

extramundane
07-15-07, 09:01 PM
"Foley Catheter"

but that is probably just me...

I think most men probably have a special hatred of the word catheter.

I've grown to despise two of my boss' favorite phrases: "vis-a-vis" and "Am I crazy or ...?" She has a horrible spelling issue (we're talking Drunk Spicoli-style, which is especially unfortunate since we work for a school), so the former usually gets spelled "visa vi." The latter typically precedes either the most obvious statement in the world or something so incredibly stupid that I want to slam my head in the door repeatedly.

eiregosod
07-15-07, 09:03 PM
still at #1

"Oh my God" , anyone who uses this phrase is letting the whole world know that they aren't thinking for themselves.

Wabbit
07-15-07, 09:09 PM
I hate technical terms altered for use by salespeople / management:

ping - "Let me ping Jacobs on that"
offline - "We can take that conversation offline"
bandwidth - "Do you have the bandwidth for this project?"
multitask - "We're going to need you to multitask to get these 19 things done by Wednesday"
buffer - "Let's buffer that suggestion for another time"


Makes me think they believe their technical charges will somehow respect them more for using such terms, albeit incorrectly. They're wrong.

Sounds like you work for Microsoft.

Sean Malone
07-15-07, 09:36 PM
I think most men probably have a special hatred of the word catheter.

I've grown to despise two of my boss' favorite phrases: "vis-a-vis" and "Am I crazy or ...?" She has a horrible spelling issue (we're talking Drunk Spicoli-style, which is especially unfortunate since we work for a school), so the former usually gets spelled "visa vi." The latter typically precedes either the most obvious statement in the world or something so incredibly stupid that I want to slam my head in the door repeatedly.

I know a VP who overuses "that said" in every email he sends. Hate it.

Outside of the office I cringe everytime I hear "...and what not" end someone's sentence. I repeat it back to them in agreement. :)

Indy
07-15-07, 09:46 PM
"Basically." they say "basically" and then proceed to explain things in detail. I hear it on a daily basis at work.

Any verbal crutch bugs me. Corporate trend words bug me too. "Swim lanes" is one I heard the other day. Stoopid.

Swim lanes??? :rofl:

Please tell me about this one. I have not heard it.

jonovision_man
07-15-07, 09:46 PM
offline - "We can take that conversation offline"


OMG I hate that one too...

Another one: "level set". Argh.

action item - "I'll take that as an action item".

Humans weren't meant to have to tolerate working in offices... :)

jono

jonovision_man
07-15-07, 09:47 PM
Swim lanes??? :rofl:

Please tell me about this one. I have not heard it.

I've only heard it in the UML context... and if anyone cares for that definition they need help. :)

jono

Sean Malone
07-15-07, 09:53 PM
Swim lanes??? :rofl:

Please tell me about this one. I have not heard it.

She is the lead project manager on a large implementation I'm involved with. Evidently it's a project manager term used to describe parallel development efforts. She probably made it up.

jonovision_man
07-15-07, 10:01 PM
OMG I can't believe I'm posting this.

Swim Lanes are a way of organizing activities in a way that shows what each person is responsible for... so you'd see a chart of "activities" and their interactions but the swim lanes break it down so you can identify what each person/team/actor/system is responsible for in isolation.

OMG I can't believe I posted that. Now I'm annoying. ;)

jono

JohnHKart
07-15-07, 10:39 PM
Tyoical customer service attitude :eek: :runs away: ;)


LOL. There's no way to stop them saying that, so I just scream inside. I'll do my best to help the customer even if that whole sentence with the word "quick" is so irritating and a useless waste of both our time.

John

rocket
07-15-07, 10:50 PM
Open door policy--we have this at work as I'm sure most companies do. When I have talked to them about issues, depending on the tone or the issue I have received 2 different responses. Something concerning the way things are done is usually met with a, "Do you have a better idea?" Oh so now I run the place? OK, I give him my idea and he tels me he can't do that....I just tell him you asked for it, you didn't like it, now the balls back in your court.

Geez, I could write a book about the incompetent managment at work, none of them even has so much as an associates degree in any subject much less business management or something of the sort.

The one thing they accel at is the ability to take an email that has been sent to EVERYONE add the phrase "Please read and follow this" and then forward it to EVERYONE again. Gee, thanks for that extra information shouldn't you guys be leaving about now so you don't miss your tee time:rolleyes:

Sean O'Gorman
07-15-07, 10:55 PM
"Client."

Whenever I hear it at work, it is from a third party who refers to the person my company insures as a client, as if they retained an insurance company specifically to screw them over. :rolleyes:

nrc
07-15-07, 11:57 PM
There's one that's been bugging me lately but I've blanked it from my mind. I'm sure someone will remind me soon...

devilmaster
07-16-07, 12:22 AM
OMG I can't believe I posted that. Now I'm annoying. ;)

jono

Now?!? :runs:

;)

RaceGrrl
07-16-07, 12:59 AM
"mashup"

HATE it.

Indy
07-16-07, 02:05 AM
"mashup"

HATE it.

:D What does that one mean?

I now work for a small company that is gloriously without "professional" management, so I miss having a Lumbergh to ruin my life. I mostly miss the ridiculous management consultants and the various pointy haired men trying to learn how to use their buzzwords to sound somewhat intelligent. :cool:

Mr. Vengeance
07-16-07, 02:52 AM
"organic"; "it happened organically". What?
And "at the end of the day" still drives me nuts.

opinionated ow
07-16-07, 03:49 AM
Swim lanes??? :rofl:

Please tell me about this one. I have not heard it.


OMG I can't believe I'm posting this.

Swim Lanes are a way of organizing activities in a way that shows what each person is responsible for... so you'd see a chart of "activities" and their interactions but the swim lanes break it down so you can identify what each person/team/actor/system is responsible for in isolation.

OMG I can't believe I posted that. Now I'm annoying. ;)

jono
out here, swim lanes refers to how they divide up a public swimming pool. ie. swim lanes, squad lanes and swimming lesson lanes

"organic"; "it happened organically". What?
And "at the end of the day" still drives me nuts.
i never understood that. it happened growing in the ground? wtf...

the one i really hate, and its probably endemic to Australia, is "what does that mean," when you use any of the words, expressions or rhyming slang that have been part of Australian language for 150 years...i had to explain what Reg Grundies were the other day :shakehead

Insomniac
07-16-07, 08:17 AM
Swim lanes??? :rofl:

Please tell me about this one. I have not heard it.

Popular for business processes. It's a buzzword for a cross functional flowchart.

http://www.prime2.org/sst/images/flowchart1.gif

WickerBill
07-16-07, 08:20 AM
I'm going to post some of my pet peeve words in this thread as I catch up on my email this morning. :) That should help the time pass....

So far:

- action item
- logistics (if you mean details, say details, you pompous ass)
- buy-in
- bottom line (you better be talking about finances if you use this, or I'm tuning out)
- empowered
- Center of Excellence (please use the term "operations" like the rest of the world)
- Sev1 - e.g. "This project is really Sev1". No, Severity 1 is a designator for a trouble ticket.
- boil the ocean
- value-add
- low-hanging fruit
- lessons learned

eiregosod
07-16-07, 09:43 AM
"action points" :gomer:

in relation to the housing market,
"supply will have to meet the demand"

indyfan31
07-16-07, 09:48 AM
"UTILIZE"
When did the word "USE" become ...... well, useless?

WickerBill
07-16-07, 09:56 AM
- all-hands
- drill down
- double-click (evil cousin of drill down... "Let's double-click on your point")
- closure
- lifecycle management (fine when you're talking about LCM for, say, hardware. Not cool when you're talking about replacing retiring people with college hires)
- 2.0
- SOx (as a verb, especially)
- critical path

rosawendel
07-16-07, 10:21 AM
-"you people" - not intended as a racist connotation, but still the grouping together of a people as a class - i.e; in my case, the collecting together of architects by engineers.

-the use of the phrase "high definition" or "HD" to describe something other than television picture quality for marketing purposes (also, the overuse of those same terms in proper context: "this broadcast brought to you in high definition by...". Almost as unnecessary as "we're coming to you live via...", as though the technology is so cutting edge, no one's heard of it).

I have others, but they're construction trade specific, and not as entertaining to others.

Methanolandbrats
07-16-07, 10:46 AM
After explaining something to a person in depth they say "you're kidding", "you're not serious" or some other idiotic phrase to buy time while their dim brain processes what I just said. I want to say "you dumb ****er, would I have spent five minutes explaining this if I was kidding or was'nt serious?:mad:

WickerBill
07-16-07, 10:49 AM
MaB, that reminds me of a statement I caught myself saying repeatedly and have desperately tried to evict from daily use: "honestly". As in, "Honestly, I think..."

Yeah, everything else I said was BS -- this one little bit is the truth though.

Indy
07-16-07, 10:58 AM
I'm going to post some of my pet peeve words in this thread as I catch up on my email this morning. :) That should help the time pass....

So far:

- action item
- logistics (if you mean details, say details, you pompous ass)
- buy-in
- bottom line (you better be talking about finances if you use this, or I'm tuning out)
- empowered
- Center of Excellence (please use the term "operations" like the rest of the world)
- Sev1 - e.g. "This project is really Sev1". No, Severity 1 is a designator for a trouble ticket.
- boil the ocean
- value-add
- low-hanging fruit
- lessons learned

Bottom line - I need to stop saying that.

Boil the ocean - what the hell does that mean? :rofl:

Ed_Severson
07-16-07, 11:03 AM
One that really irks me is "rate of speed," as in "he was traveling at a high rate of speed." Speed is a rate; a rate of speed is an acceleration, but we both know that's not what you're talking about. :mad:

I'm also pretty much over the internet trend of calling anything you don't like "teh ghey." Yes, I get it -- you don't like it and you're too cool to spell any words properly while expressing your dislike for it. You're obviously a tremendous human being.

Indy
07-16-07, 11:06 AM
I few of my old favorites:

"Cross-functional teams" - as if it were revolutionary to include people from different functions in a meeting. Engineering and production talking, dogs and cats living together...

Including a word like "Improvement" in job titles. Like, for example, Continuous Improvement Manager, or Profit Enhancement Manager. As if improvement were not already inherent to the concept of paying someone to do the job.

My absolute favorite: "Blocking and Tackling." I had one boss who was so obsessed with this concept that my department had daily meetings where we discussed seemingly all the aspects of everyone's jobs repeatedly, just to make sure we were doing our "Blocking and Tackling." In a profoundly ironic bit of inspiration, he even put a "Blocking and Tackling" sign over the door to the conference room.

dando
07-16-07, 11:21 AM
OMG I can't believe I'm posting this.

Swim Lanes are a way of organizing activities in a way that shows what each person is responsible for... so you'd see a chart of "activities" and their interactions but the swim lanes break it down so you can identify what each person/team/actor/system is responsible for in isolation.

OMG I can't believe I posted that. Now I'm annoying. ;)

jono

Even more annoying is the Wiki post:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swim_lane

:D

I've heard this one used for dB process flows.

-Kevin

extramundane
07-16-07, 11:29 AM
I knew I was forgetting one: deliverables. I've rec'd 2 emails in the last 30 minutes using that wretched word, one of which went so far as to ask "when can we deliver the deliverables?"

That's grounds for a crotchpunch in my book.

JLMannin
07-16-07, 11:30 AM
euphemisms for elimating jobs, such as:

out sourcing
in sourcing
TPO (third party operation)

euphemisms for firing people:

down sizing
right sizing
career transition
out placement

I have a seething hatred for "concensus". This is the code word applied to the concept that the person with the most hay points in the room determines the teams actions, and if you do not 100% support this and look happy while doing it, you are not a team player.

Mr. Vengeance
07-16-07, 11:50 AM
"paradigm shift" :flame:

cameraman
07-16-07, 11:57 AM
Wow.

You folks have just shown me how wonderful my job is.

Non-profit basic research at a University, nobody here has an mba, I get half a dozen emails on a busy day and the only swim lanes I see are in the pool. We have no management types and the University HR people try hard to pretend we don't exist.

Working for foundations doesn't pay a ton of cash but I bet my blood pressure is a lot lower:laugh:

Sean O'Gorman
07-16-07, 12:14 PM
"paradigm shift" :flame:

+1000

Also, I hate the term hundo.

Don Quixote
07-16-07, 12:34 PM
"Quite frankly ..."

"At the end of the day ..."

Or combined: "Quite frankly, at the end of the day ..."

also, "tweak"

:yuck:

WickerBill
07-16-07, 12:46 PM
Boil the ocean - what the hell does that mean? :rofl:

"Let's not try to boil the ocean here, let's just get this one thing done."

If a normal human being said it, it would look like this:

"Let's just get this one part done first."

It is a subtle (sorta) way for a manager to say you're trying to do the impossible.

nrc
07-16-07, 12:54 PM
- double-click (evil cousin of drill down... "Let's double-click on your point")


Never heard that used. I swear I'd point and laugh.

cameraman
07-16-07, 01:35 PM
Also, I hate the term hundo.

Never heard of it, what's hundo?

Don Quixote
07-16-07, 01:56 PM
As in, "I just dropped 8 hundos on my new in-dash cd changer." In use by spoiled high school kids and young trust funders. :laugh:

Insomniac
07-16-07, 02:01 PM
I think some of you would've hanged yourself where I work!

JohnHKart
07-16-07, 06:14 PM
It doesn't bother me, but a coworker hates another coworker's use of the word "actually" for everything. And funny enough, nobody's used the quick word today. That's rare.

John

WickerBill
07-16-07, 06:36 PM
It doesn't bother me, but a coworker hates another coworker's use of the word "actually" for everything. And funny enough, nobody's used the quick word today. That's rare.

John


I have a co-worker and a daughter who both use that word obsessively. Two examples: "Well actually, this wallet is British, and is superior to yours." and "Actually, I didn't learn my roundoff back handspring until May."

You guess which is which.

pineapple
07-16-07, 06:46 PM
Cop speak. "The suspect exited his vehicle and proceeded to draw his weapon. Law enforcement officials proceeded to respond and the suspect was hit by several projectiles..."

Athlete speak. "Well, the team worked 110% toward achieving our goal of reaching 500 for the season."

greenie
07-16-07, 07:18 PM
Anyone from the U.S. that says "no worries." :tony:

JohnHKart
07-16-07, 09:28 PM
Have already complained about this, but any words said by the now required female pit reporters in Nascar, IRL, Champ Car. I know some here don't like him, but irritates me to death that a qualified guy like John Kernan is at home mowing the lawn, while some bimbo who just heard of a race car last week is doing his job. I can't understand what she's saying (or Ashley Force either) .

John

Indy
07-16-07, 09:48 PM
Have already complained about this, but any words said by the now required female pit reporters in Nascar, IRL, Champ Car. I know some here don't like him, but irritates me to death that a qualified guy like John Kernan is at home mowing the lawn, while some bimbo who just heard of a race car last week is doing his job. I can't understand what she's saying (or Ashley Force either) .

John

Agreed. It is the series saying to the fan, "Shut up, we don't even take this **** seriously, why should you?"

cameraman
07-16-07, 10:55 PM
Along those lines you also have Steve Matchett during the Fox F1 coverage telling us "In formula one the track is divided into three sectors...."

How much further they going to dumb it down:flame: :flame: :flame:

nrc
07-16-07, 11:15 PM
Have already complained about this, but any words said by the now required female pit reporters in Nascar, IRL, Champ Car. It's not just a racing phenomenon, the NFL and college sidelines are littered with former weather girls passing on useless filler being fed to them by the television producer. I don't know who decided this was a good idea or why. I don't know anyone who thinks it adds anything to a game. The only good thing about it is that it may eventually put Jack Arute out of a job.

TrueBrit
07-16-07, 11:25 PM
There have been some good ones so far, but I am surprised no-one's mentioned "It is what it is" yet...Well of COURSE it is what it is you f******* numbskull...:mad:

Ooh, I just remembered another one.."The net, net is...." as in .."the net net of the situation is we need you to go and stick your head in a pan of boiling water because it has become apparent you are a complete ****..."

"Let's not re-invent the wheel"

"Can I ask you a question?" (Um, you already did dumbass)

Oh, and this is more of an Americanism than anything else, not really annoying but proof positive that we live in two countries separated by a common language, I used to giggle when people would ask "What time have you got?" to which my response was, "for what?"

Oh, and whilst we're on about bastardizing the language...it is NOT "off of" it is simply "off". He jumped OFF the bridge, he did not jump off of the bridge. I just got off your mama, NOT I just got off of your mama. Alright? Class dismissed....;)

cameraman
07-16-07, 11:35 PM
You always have

"The meeting is at 9 AM in the morning."

"Do you know where the Jewish Synagogue is?":flame:
As opposed to the Catholic one?

nrc
07-16-07, 11:36 PM
Oh, and whilst we're on about bastardizing the language...it is NOT "off of" it is simply "off". He jumped OFF the bridge, he did not jump off of the bridge. I just got off your mama, NOT I just got off of your mama. Alright? Class dismissed....;)A friend used to laugh at one of our regional bad habits - dropping the infinitive. "The lawn needs mowed." or "Those pants need ironed." :gomer:

ferrarigod
07-17-07, 12:20 AM
amagion.

cameraman
07-17-07, 01:11 AM
amagion.

Ya google that and you'll get 240 hits:rolleyes:

WickerBill
07-17-07, 07:02 AM
net-net is awful.

The new one around my cube farm is people trying to be definitive by ending a statement with "Period, the end."

Yeah, I get it, exclamation point, the end!

Spicoli
07-17-07, 08:36 AM
clearly.

Turn7
07-17-07, 08:50 AM
Ahhhh, this reminds me of why I am enjoying working twice as long for a startup instead of listening to babbling nimrods at hp attempting to sound smart and end up sounding like a buzzword soundboard.

Put 35 engineers in a office with one crusty old admin and you get work done instead of just talking about getting work done.

It's win-win. :D

JT265
07-17-07, 09:03 AM
Oh, and whilst we're on about bastardizing the language...it is NOT "off of" it is simply "off". He jumped OFF the bridge, he did not jump off of the bridge. I just got off your mama, NOT I just got off of your mama. Alright? Class dismissed....;)

True, but you could also have said "I just got off ON your mama. As a point of clarification, you understand. Period. The end. :laugh: :laugh:

Methanolandbrats
07-17-07, 09:37 AM
True, but you could also have said "I just got off ON your mama. As a point of clarification, you understand. Period. The end. :laugh: :laugh: Been a while since I diagramed a sentence, but should'nt that be "I just got off in your mama". :confused: Although technically you could get off "in" or "on" mama. Any English majors in the crowd?

Easy
07-17-07, 10:22 AM
euphemisms for elimating jobs, such as:

out sourcing
in sourcing
TPO (third party operation)

euphemisms for firing people:

down sizing
right sizing
career transition
out placement



The company HQ'd next door to Newman/Haas has a few nice euphemisms for firing people. My favorite is, "Involuntary Position Elimination".

devilmaster
07-17-07, 12:58 PM
I figgered euphemisms and english expressions(3:38 into the video) should be added to this thread.

NSFW (although they should be ;) )

WE_k7LQ5wfk

BAJjB1wzCBA

JohnHKart
07-17-07, 01:09 PM
"Let me ask you a question"

It happened again today a guy just kept repeating that, then his question until I had to tell him to stop, or we'd be on the phone all day. Just ask the friggin question....Moron!

John

vancouver
07-17-07, 03:08 PM
Another Americanism slowly but surely sweeping itself to the UK; ''Like''.

Heard a couple of 6/7 year olds in Tesco the other night. (TrueBrit will know what Tesco is ;) )

Like, my dad is going to, like, take me to see Harry Potter at the, like, cinema like, tomorrow afternoon.

He says, I can, like, bring a friend, do you wanna, like, come with me.

This was a real conversation.

No. of 'like's'; 6.

dando
07-17-07, 03:10 PM
The company HQ'd next door to Newman/Haas has a few nice euphemisms for firing people. My favorite is, "Involuntary Position Elimination".

We have another expression where I work: Bangalored. :saywhat:

-Kevin

dando
07-17-07, 03:12 PM
"Can I ask you a question?" (Um, you already did dumbass)



That's more or less my standard response to that query. You'd be amazed @ how many peeps become conscious of asking that question afterwards. :)

I also despise it when peeps ask if I CAN do something. Too which I usually reply, yes, I CAN (and then do nothing). :D

-Kevin

JohnHKart
07-17-07, 06:17 PM
We have another expression where I work: Bangalored. :saywhat:

-Kevin


Or Bombayed?

dando
07-17-07, 06:32 PM
Or Bombayed?

Or Chennaied...but most of our offshore resources are from BDC (and I manage a fair-sized chunk of them). I have the pleasure of traveling there the first full week of August. :( As Robin Williams sez in Good Morning, Vietnam!


"Hey, uh, hi, can you help me, what's your name? "My name's Roosevelt E. Roosevelt." Roosevelt, what town are you stationed in? "I'm stationed in Poontang." Well, thank you, Roosevelt. What's the weather like out there? "It's hot. Damn hot! Real hat! Hottest things is my shorts. I could cook things in it. A little crotch pot cooking." Well, can you tell me what it feels like? "Fool, it's hot! I told you again! Were you born on the sun? It's damn hot! I saw... It's so damn hot, I saw little guys, their orange robes burst into flames. It's that hot! Do you know what I'm talking about?" What do you think it's going to be like tonight? "It's gonna be hot and wet! That's nice if you're with a lady, but it ain't no good if you're in the jungle." Thank you, Roosevelt. Here's a song coming your way right now. "Nowhere To Run To" by Martha and the Vandellas. Yes! You know what I mean! Whew. Too much?"

:D :saywhat:

-Kevin

oddlycalm
07-19-07, 03:34 PM
Ahhhh, this reminds me of why I am enjoying working twice as long for a startup instead of listening to babbling nimrods at hp attempting to sound smart and end up sounding like a buzzword soundboard.

Put 35 engineers in a office with one crusty old admin and you get work done instead of just talking about getting work done. Exactly right. I'm guessing the reason I never hear these phrases is that I'm dealing with people that are too busy actually producing.

Funny thread, but scary as well because of the disconnect from reality that some these phrases represent. I can't imagine being able to keep a straight face after hearing some of these phrases.

oc

rosawendel
07-19-07, 04:46 PM
The pronunciation of the word "Porsche" using only one syllable.

datachicane
07-19-07, 04:46 PM
synergy

paradigm

proactive (The first Merriam-Webster definition reads: Relating to, caused by, or being interference between previous learning and the recall or performance of later learning <proactive inhibition of memory>. Insert appropriate quote from 'The Princess Bride' here.

action item, action initiative (Try 'do' instead)

core values, team culture, etc.

orientate (What, 'orient' wasn't good enough?)

way more, way better, more better, way more better, etc., ad nauseum

Any sentence beginning with the phrase "I'd like to" that is making a statement rather than endorsing an alternative, as in "I'd like to thank you for coming today", which leads me to the conclusion that, while the speaker would LIKE to thank me, he/she is actually legally, contractually, or ethically constrained from doing so.

Extreme

Awesome, particularly when used by any individual born after 1991


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Favorite workplace words:

Borked

Harpooned

U-Boated

Expectation management

Culpability paradigm (Exception to #2 above. Especially useful as part of an alternate definition of gasbag Stephen Covey's ubiquitous and frequently mandatory 'DCP' training ('Developing Capable People')- see 'Denying the Culpability Paradigm')

Methanolandbrats
07-19-07, 06:48 PM
The pronunciation of the word "Porsche" using only one syllable. That reminds me, I need new tars for my Porch.

ferrarigod
07-20-07, 12:31 AM
reverse racism.

ferrarigod
07-20-07, 12:32 AM
handicapable.

spinner26
07-20-07, 12:50 AM
Didn't read all three pages but the one that crawled my skin while in mgt. was "Make it happen".

Sr. mgr.'s loved to us the phrase with no earthly idea about the local bottom line.

They could care less, just make it happen. Okay, pull a rabbit outa this hat here mister, oh but that's different.:rolleyes:

JohnHKart
07-20-07, 06:08 PM
"Irregardless." It's not a word. The "actually" coworker can't pronounce the name of our company, and has a new one involving the word chance. "
Do you have an email address, BY CHANCE?" Yuck.

John

Turn7
07-20-07, 07:25 PM
"Major"

Living with 2 teenage daughters and my wife have me sick of hearing that word over the last week. They saw some show that it was used in and they started using it to make fun of it but, it seems like it's becoming a habit around Flint Cove Court.:cry:

Rob
07-20-07, 08:41 PM
Didn't read all three pages but the one that crawled my skin while in mgt. was "Make it happen".

Sr. mgr.'s loved to us the phrase with no earthly idea about the local bottom line.

They could care less, just make it happen. Okay, pull a rabbit outa this hat here mister, oh but that's different.:rolleyes:

Along the same lines, "You have to make time." My boss tried to use that one on me one day when I was already working a week of 12-hour days to get another project done, and I nearly flipped out.

RHR_Fan
07-20-07, 09:48 PM
"No offense, but..."

EDwardo
07-20-07, 10:18 PM
I have a manager who loves to end sentences with "and stuff like that."

One executive for my company describes adding personnel for big projects as "throwing more bodies at it."

Reporters in media referring to someone as "on the ground." As opposed to what? Hovering in the air?

WickerBill
07-21-07, 09:11 AM
One of my least favorites in sports broadcasting (a fertile field, I know) is "soil". "That's the first time the Europeans ever won on U.S. soil." "Mexico hasn't won on U.S. soil in five years."

What? So they haven't won in the United States, or on the US bases in Japan, or at the US Memorial Cemetery in Normandy? Just say "in the U.S."!!

vancouver
07-21-07, 03:32 PM
and so the list continues....


''bespoke''

As in; ''come and view our bespoke furniture''

I have learnt over the years that bespoke usually means s****.!

nrc
07-21-07, 05:17 PM
and so the list continues....


''bespoke''

As in; ''come and view our bespoke furniture''

I have learnt over the years that bespoke usually means s****.!

Must be a brit thing. What do they mean by it?

WickerBill
07-21-07, 09:06 PM
I thought bespoke meant that it was made to the customer's specifications -- generally used for clothing. You can't go see a "bespoke suit" because they're made individually for each customer, not taken off a rack. So how can you see a piece of bespoke furniture?

Yeah, I can see how that'd be irritating.

(conversation with self now over)

cameraman
07-21-07, 10:58 PM
Must be a brit thing. What do they mean by it?

Bespoke furniture is built to order. It isn't necessarily a unique design, there are plenty of furniture makers who have catalogs of pieces they will build for you.

Insomniac
07-22-07, 06:16 PM
"_____ is in the Top XX", where XX is the ranking of that person/thing.

Paul Tracy is running in the Top 9 (when he's in 9th place).

Miami is ranked in the Top 17 (when they're ranked 17th).

I qualified in the Top 6 (in 6th place).

Walter Zoomie
07-23-07, 12:29 PM
"...moving forward,"... makes me want to kill...again! ;)

Meaning, "Forget all that stupid stuff which happened earlier. Now, we're gonna do it this way. Let's hope that dumb crap doesn't happen again..."

Any time Scott Goodyear opens his word hole...

"Marco said his crash at Indy was the most scariest crash he's ever had, exspecially because he flipped and landed upside down."

ferrarigod
07-23-07, 02:05 PM
bless their little heart.

Kahauna Dreamer
07-23-07, 02:19 PM
Insert appropriate quote from 'The Princess Bride' here...

"I do not think it means what you think it means" - Inigo Montoya

datachicane
07-23-07, 02:53 PM
"I do not think it means what you think it means" - Inigo Montoya

Yep.

It's a bit ironic that the original definition actually fits it's common usage so well- the thing you learn that prevents you from learning something new (or, since I found a hammer every problem I encounter looks like a nail). Kinda explains all of the attempts to solve technical/infrastructure/resource issues with flavor-of-the-month management sloganeering.

greenie
07-23-07, 05:56 PM
Redundant crap like "tuna fish" and "pistachio nuts" tends to irritate me.

As does "fine golf shot." I heard that a couple times watching the British Open - no **** it's a golf shot. :gomer:

Sean Malone
07-23-07, 08:08 PM
Redundant crap like "tuna fish" and "pistachio nuts" tends to irritate me.

As does "fine golf shot." I heard that a couple times watching the British Open - no **** it's a golf shot. :gomer:

"get in the hole!"

and

"you're the man Tiger!"

Indy
07-23-07, 10:20 PM
bless their little heart.

Oh, yeah. Murder time. No jury would convict you.

meadors
07-23-07, 10:35 PM
Discrete when you mean distinct.

As in "I can show you several discrete revenue streams to improve your bottom line"

To which I reply "If I wanted you to provide a 'discrete revenue stream' I'd tell you to go **** the guy down the street and not tell anybody"

Oh yeah and "revenue streams". Uh, income used to work just fine.

"Oh honey look, that beautiful fish is swimming up the revenue stream"

Rob
07-24-07, 12:43 AM
One thing that gets on my nerves is when people pronounce the word "vase" the snobby way, "vahhz". Unless you are at least a second-generation multi-millionaire, "vase" rhymes with "face".