Executor of Will - Any Tips?

[TedN]

Myself and one of my sisers are co-executors of my late mother's estate. We are now in the process of dispersing her personal belongings, furniture etc. There are 6 grown children who are beneficiaries, including myself and my sister.

We have taken an inventory of the condo contents along with digital pictures and asked all 6 children which items they want.

As you can guess, there are many items which have been requested by 2 or more people. We have suggested that if 2 people want the same item, that the 2 parties speak to one another and work it out. If more than 2 people want an item, we suggested the names be put in a hat and one name drawn.

We thought this process was fair.

However, in the second scenario, the same name could be drawn multiple times, making it somewhat unfair.

Has anyone here gone through this process before? If so, how did you handle it? The final decision will be ours but we want to be fair and try not to hurt feelings. Boy this is hard!

Thanks in advance for your input.

Ted

[Robstar]

I could just be me... but is a hat the best way to do it... ?

Do all siblings get along ?

[emjaya]

Draw straws and then take turns to chose one thing at a time until every thing is gone.Feelings will be hurt regardless of what you do, just try to keep a firm hand on it.The sharing out of an estate can tear some families apart,brothers and sisters can get very silly over small things long past.

I went though the same thing when my father died,it was not a lot of fun. :(

[SAdair]

My family does the take turns thing. Anything that is requested by more than one person is sat aside. Then names are drawn for the order in which people get to pick. That rotation keeps going untill all the items are choosen or people have gotten what they wanted.

[nrc]

My family does the take turns thing. Anything that is requested by more than one person is sat aside. Then names are drawn for the order in which people get to pick. That rotation keeps going untill all the items are choosen or people have gotten what they wanted.

That would seem to be the most fair way. The one possible problem is handling requests for items of substantial value. If the intent is to allow family to select items of sentimental value and then liquidate the estate and split it among the beneficiaries, it's sort of unfair if someone claims an item of substantial value. To deal with that you might say that any item valued over a certain amount (say, $500) would count against their share of the estate.

[JoeBob]

Not quite the same, but after college - my roommate and I had to liquidate our assets. The apartment had been unfurnished, but handed down between quite a few people. There was a lot of stuff in there - most of which was either given to us, or purchased together.

We went through a similar process - we each made a list of the stuff we wanted. If only one person wanted something - it was his. If both of us wanted something, it was marked accordingly.

We then had a "draft" - picking what we wanted. We even invited people over to consult/watch the event. We flipped a coin to see who got the first pick, and alternated until everything was gone. (We then held a second draft for the contents of our kitchen cabinetspice cabinet - we both like to cook, so there was some good stuff, mostly spices - but other things as well.)

It was a lot of fun - even for the spectators. Mostly because the strategy that emerged was interesting and ridiculous all at once. How often do you get to whisper to someone, "I really want that ginger and its kind of expensive, but I've never seen him use it. But, He sure loves the cayenne pepper - if I don't take it the first round, he will."

Or: "I'm not going to waste a pick on the Italian Spice mix right now, the Oregano and Basil are still out there - and if he takes the spice mix, the oregano and basil will both fall to me with later picks. He's already got them in the mix."

Plus, there's just no way to not get a roomful of laughter after declaring: "With the first pick in the third round, JoeBob selects the Balsamic Vinegar!"

So... put me in the category of having a draft. I wouldn't overlook the opportunity to make it into a fun time either. It might lift the spirits. I do recognize that throwing a "Mom's stuff draft party" isn't for everyone - it would work in my family, it might not with yours.

Rather than having a variety of individual pick 'em contests, put everything that more than one person had an interest in into the pool. By pooling everything that is "disputed" together, you don't have to worry nearly as much about the financial impact either. If the big screen TV is worth a lot of money, and I didn't say I wanted it initially, I could still take it. It would be my decision to pass over it for something with more sentimental value.

Then all you have to do is draw names to establish an order (if you're an NBA fan, this would be the "Draft Lottery"), give everyone a few minutes to decide on their strategy, then take out the stop watch (you can't have unlimited time between picks, you'll be there all day) and begin the draft. (You might consider inverting the order between rounds - giving whoever gets the last pick in round one can the first pick in round 2)

During and after the event, there's plenty of opportunities for dealmaking as well. People can trade their picks, trade stuff they got for other things they want more.

Note: This soft of draft format works for other events as well - like quitting your job. Moving to another town. Cleaning the basement!

[JoeBob]

That would seem to be the most fair way. The one possible problem is handling requests for items of substantial value. If the intent is to allow family to select items of sentimental value and then liquidate the estate and split it among the beneficiaries, it's sort of unfair if someone claims an item of substantial value. To deal with that you might say that any item valued over a certain amount (say, $500) would count against their share of the estate.

I don't see why monetary value should be weighted higher than sentimental value. People give them varying weight - by giving everyone the opportunity to choose money or sentiments, you equalize them. What if you have to pick between the box of letters dad sent to mom over the years and mom's wedding ring?

Both are probably going into keepsake drawers - but under your system, the person who got the ring is going to have to pay for it. Meanwhile, someone else might want the big screen TV more than either of them - in the end, if everyone has an opportunity for everything, it will all end up about even. With things divied up according to the value each person gives to each item.

[nrc]

I don't see why monetary value should be weighted higher than sentimental value. People give them varying weight - by giving everyone the opportunity to choose money or sentiments, you equalize them.

Simply to discrourage anyone from claiming something purely for monetary value. I mean, it's nice to assume that everyone will be good about that but it doesn't always work that way. Just to exaggerate for the purpose of an example, what if Aunt May's estate is worth $30,000 total and the first person up picks her $10,000 diamond necklace?